vive le vent d'hiver...

i'm sitting in the kitchen, watching the snow fall, drinking coffee number three, listening to christmas music and feeling awfully festive. pretty soon i will start making christmas cards, and perhaps this year may even have them mailed/delivered before christmas. well, let's be honest here, most years i don't even finish making them... but here i am, done school, unemployed, broke as hell... so this is the year! send me your addresses! on the double!

had a lovely day yesterday. monday was my last exam, and i vowed to spend tuesday doing only enjoyable things. i woke up late with a pounding headache and some rather unpleasant nausea from a few too many glasses of cheap red wine. went to cafe deux soleil and drank refill after refill while reading some really great short stories. fiction! such luxury. wandered down the drive, rosy-cheeked, peering in windows but resisting spending the few dollars i have left these days. went into highlife where meg's family friend kevin works, listened to some of his recommendations for a while. contemplated buying a thirty dollar compilation of ethiopian music, resisted resisted. went swimming at brittania, and wandered in just as free swim was starting. sat in the sauna with a half-dozen elderly ladies who sat and gossipped and slapped their skin around. went to the library, where they forgave 70 dollars worth of fines (!), and ended up taking out a dozen books (fiction!). went to lori's house to say goodbye before she left for nova scotia, went to helen's for dinner snacks and conversations about south africa, books, and ways to escape the 9 to 5 lifestyle. watched delicatessen and snuggled with a fluffy grey cat.

i've been feeling a bit more relaxed these days. i keep having to remind myself that every decision about my future does not need to be made right this very instant. i have lots of uncertainties, but who doesn't? i'm just going to go with things for now. i got a job nannying for an awfully cute little chubby-cheeked smiley baby in january, part-time. should leave me some time for a second job, for volunteering in a classroom to test the waters of my future career, and time to spend with my nearest and dearest. i've pretty much committed for a year, so looks like i'll be sticking around these parts for a while. which feels pretty good. not that i had any plans to leave, but some days i do start to think how nice it would be to live in a hammock on a beach in mexico for a little while...but who doesn't? there will be time for all that, i'm sure.

but yes. the holidays are upon us. i feel so jolly.