such a nice birthday weekend. out dancin' on friday, to bodyworlds (eww) on saturday, made a delicious rebar dinner, watched march of the penguins, and then out to vij's on sunday (oh my goodness, deliciousness). t'was lovely.
and now it's back to real life after all the surreal perfection of the last month. it hit me this morning, crawling out of bed at noon, feeling groggy, useless, aimless, lost. wait! these blues were supposed to be gone! they were supposed to be the 'new to vancouver' blues, not the 'three months and counting' blues.
i am so torn between my need to accomplish something 'important' and my need to have time for myself and for my friends. and so far it's been the accomplishing that's been sacrificed - and it's making me a bit blue. i see so many people around me working on these amazing projects, creating something from nothing, doing fascinating creative stimulating things. and moi? i wander the streets, i write in my journal, i insulate myself from the world around me...
yeah. i feel stagnant. i can't remember the last time i worked on a project, the last time i created something or felt inspired. i know it can be done, and i know it must be done but i'm not sure how to balance my life in that way, and i'm not sure if i'll ever be able to focus on one single thing. my indecision causes me to do nothing rather than everything. my indecision will be my undoing.
so, who's gonna give me the kick in the pants i need?
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