i should really be writing my paper that's due in two days and that i have, in typical kerria fashion, not yet started. but instead i'm listening to graceland in the computer lab, looking at exciting opportunities, writing to my friends, thinking about my life. i can't believe it's already the end of october. so much has happened in the last few months, and i sometimes find it hard to believe that only two months ago i was living in montreal. my life has been in constant flux, but somehow i am ecstatically happy these days, on and off. i absolutely love being back in vancouver, it is so beautiful here, and i love being around all my old friends, as well as new ones; all these people in my life these days who are so very smart, who think about the world and want to make it a better place, each in their own way.

but yeah, it's been a crazy few weeks. my sister and i flew to ontario to visit our grandmother in the hospital, and she passed away just as our plane was landing in the toronto airport. i regret not going earlier, i regret not knowing her better. it would have been her 96th birthday in a week. my family and i spent a lot of time sifting through her old photographs, marveling at how very long my grandma lived, how much happiness there was in her life. we found boxes of love letters from my grandpa in their courting days, filled with 'darling' and 'beautiful' and so many sweet things. so many sweet stories were told about my grandma over the weekend, revealing so many parts of her i never knew. she was certainly a character: she never left the house - EVER - without a few hours of primping, even at age 95 she had to look her very best. and did that woman have style! I remember, too, every time i would go visit for her birthday over the years, she would always scold my father for his appearance, and every year without fail she would say to him "you're not going out in THAT, are you brian?". and every year she would remind everyone with pride that she still had all her own teeth. i miss her.

this weekend was less sad. kristy, eben, noah and harmony came to visit, and on thursday we went to see tanya tagaq, which was intense. i sat in the front row right in front of her, and she emitted the most haunting un-human sounds for 45 minutes without stopping. i was exhausted by the end. and the parade of lost souls on saturday was great fun. there were so many cute dogs dressed in costumes! and great human costumes too, and i drank a lot of wine and giggled a lot, which is always nice. but then someone stole my bicycle lights and i almost got hit by a car and then almost got car-doored by the drunk girls in the car. but i guess i was a little tipsy myself, so... and yesterday meg and vanessa and i went out to vanessa's parents' house in langley, where her wonderful mother taught us to make her special bread that she learned to make from her grandmother, and even gave us some of her culture that she has been keeping alive for years. we have named our culture tony, and he will be a well-loved addition to our household. it was such a nice day, spent learning something so simple and basic and ancient from someone who learned it from earlier generations...a room full of women baking bread and talking about food and family. nice.

anyways. it was a lovely weekend, but i didn't crack a book. i am already miles behind because of my trip to ontario, and i just keep falling further and further and further back. so, time to start writing this paper.

hmm. vancouver. i rode my bike back to east van from langara yesterday evening in the brief period between rainstorms, and ended up stopping my bike at some large cemetery to gape. the green of the grass, the bit of rainy mist in the distance, the blue of the mountains, the orangey red trees! this is a beautiful city. i've recently reacquainted with my bike, and it's quite nice (bad timing though - i seem to have taken it out of retirement just as the 6 months of rain are starting). actually, it's my mom's bike that i am riding, and boy is she a beauty. she's got at least four different shades of fluorescent, which looks just lovely when i lock her up with the hot green lock i've somehow acquired. it kinda reminds me of the outfits my mom used to make for me that were made out of some sort of scratchy, starchy unmoving material...

anyways, vancouver is real pretty, even in the rain. i have a cozy sense of home here. it's nice.