the body aches and that ache takes its time

having an interesting week. on tuesday i was biking home from work when i got hit straight-on by a car (a BMW no less!). it was...scary. i have been in one cycling accident before; i got car-doored (also on my way home from work) a few years ago. after that one i got up off the road and the woman who hit me gave me a ride home, though i ended up going to the hospital several hours later when my wrist started to hurt like crazy - i had apparently sprained it but the adrenaline and such had kept it from hurting right away.

this time i ended up in an ambulance, in a neck brace, in a serious panic. it was such a crazy feeling, watching a car drive straight at me, expecting it to stop and then all of a sudden i was on his hood and then flying onto the pavement. and thinking all the while "holy shit, i just got hit by a car". i remember feeling my helmet hit the road pretty hard - it's such a weird feeling knowing you're getting hit by a car, and having no control over your body and knowing that this isn't good. i got up right away and went and sat on the sidewalk, in total shock. another cyclist called an ambulance right away and then it was all this crazy dream of being put in a neck brace, being strapped down and carried into an ambulance and then sort of going into shock, going into a serious panic trying to digest what had just happened, and fearing the worst.

well, in the end everything turned out pretty alright, considering. i walked out of the hospital four hours later, with a possible fracture in my collarbone, a sprain and a torn ligament, and a possible sprain in my knee. my entire body aches, more so today than yesterday, but... yeah, could have been so much worse. i keep going over the accident in my head and it's kind of nightmarish, when i remember clearly the exact moment of being hit and knowing it.

i think the thing that gets me is how easy it is for these things to happen; how quickly things can go from being fine to being terrifying. so many things could have gone so wrong - who knows what would have happened if i wasn't wearing a helmet? and beyond that, the thing that scares me is that i was practically stopped at a stop sign, in my own lane, on a quiet side-street. i was almost at a stand-still! it just frustrates me how vulnerable i am as a cyclist, as a pedestrian. the guy who hit me was perfectly fine, with barely a scratch on his shiny black beamer. it just frustrates me how powerless we are - those people who choose not to drive, or who can't afford to drive. i suppose drivers are vulnerable too, but when it comes to car vs cyclist, or worse car vs pedestrian, we all know who's going to end up worse-off. i just hate that i have no choice but to have to deal with cars each and every time i get on a bike. i just hate how many people out there drive so recklessly, when they could so easily kill someone... i just wish that the city could create some off-road cycling paths in this city, close some streets off from vehicle traffic and give us cyclists just one or two roads where we need not worry about cars. one day...

well, other than that, everything is just lovely. my nephew linden is almost seven weeks old already (!), and cute as a button. i leave for mexico in three weeks, where i will get to spend some time with my dear friend fiona, and then josh is flying down to meet me and we'll have almost three weeks to travel, explore and certainly to spend some time on the beach eating guacamole and drinking margaritas. and i am starting to look forward to school. i have no idea what to expect, i have no idea if i will love or hate teaching, but it is something new and exciting and i think i might like it - if not forever, at least for a while, until i go back to school again, and again, and again.