Saturday, October 14, 2006

we all live here...

hmmm...the fog has settled. winter is nigh, and i'm realizing this is the first time in a long time we've seen this kind of weather. i've spent the last ten months or so under (seemingly) eternal blue skies, and i must say i was getting a bit sick of them. this is so much more the b.c. i see in my mind.

so, me and natalie are having an ongoing debate of sorts (see: tales of mystery). but the funny thing is that i think we are arguing the same point with different arguments. we both feel frustrated with the state of things, and we both realise that there are no answers or straightforward solutions. i think that we both feel anger towards something abstract, which gives this real sense of helplessness...

i think two months back in north america has put me almost back where i began, with perhaps my eyes a bit more open. but i've realised that i've almost forgotten what it feels like to be surrounded by all these people who envy me, who desire something from me, who see me as living some ideal life they wish to emulate. i've almost forgotten how it feels to wake up to that every day, and to be unable to communicate the imperfections of my lifestyle. "well, i don't make that much money..." and yet there i was halfway across the world living off my savings for 7 months. hmmmm...

and yet almost every day i ride the bus through the downtown east side, watching out the window and understanding nothing of their experience. watching just as i watched in asia: as a priviledged outsider who can hop the next bus...

and what exactly do you do about this? what can you do, what should you do? do you give a few coins? do you make art? do you write angry letters? do you protest? and to whom? to the government, to the rich, or to the idea of poverty itself?

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